you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
