A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
