I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
