I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
