i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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