Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
