like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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