i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
