we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just google imaged poop.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
