i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
