I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Too much gin, very little bucket
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
