I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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