like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
