If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
