You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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