I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
In America we eat man semen.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
