haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
