yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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