ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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