He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
