I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
