I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
