FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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