The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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