everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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