is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
