he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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