Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
