You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
