do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
