Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we made out on top of his cat.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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