Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
