period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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