so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
