She said her name was "party"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
