Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
