i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
