sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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