EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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