My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
