Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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