she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
