he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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