I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
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