I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
