I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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