If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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