is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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