you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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