I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
