So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
