she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
