6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
