ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
