dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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